Is Road Rage Caused by Driving? I Doubt It!

Maybe it's caused by a predisposition to be aggressive. You know, the born criminal type. The guy who at 5 years old beat up all the other pre-schoolers, took their juice, and rode around on his tricycle with reckless abandon.

Or maybe our natural aggression levels are enhanced by things like greasy food, legal addictive stimulants like caffeine, not enough sunlight, the threat of a 50% marriage success/failure rate, and us damn marketers "making" you spend a lot of money so you can feel like you live the life we designed on TV for Gap, Samsung and Mercedes.

I don't know, but the *%$!&$@ I talked to on Saturday, "Sir Testicles" (pronounced: Testyclees, a play on Greek warrior names), has me leaning toward the latter possibility, irregardless of how immature he was.

Here's what happened:

I felt reminiscent so I went for a drive while Smartbottom was hanging out with a friend. So there I was, driving along on a two way, undivided street full of parked cars, in a part of town where I spent a lot of my childhood. It was a cold and icy day, so I was going a little slower than the speed limit. Behind me were a few cars, all driving about the same speed, probably because it's mid-morning with icy road conditions, near a playground and between an elementary and junior high school, on a Saturday.

Next thing, this guy at the end of the line swerves out into oncoming traffic, speeds up to way over the speed limit and passes all of us as if we're in the passing zone of a highway and he has some pressing emergency like Jack Bauer from 24. That's dangerous for so many reasons, and he did this for just over one block. Sure enough, I pull up beside him at the next red light two blocks ahead, the one he beat all of us to, roll down my window and patiently wait for him to roll down his.

Me: "Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"
Sir Testicles: "Hey! F&%$ You!"
Me: "It's illegal for a reason."
Sir Testicles: "Are you a cop?"
Me: "I very well could be... but what difference does that make?"
Sir Testicles: "Then F&%$ You!"
Me, aware of the new law enforcement initiative for citizens to report dangerous drivers: "I've got your license plate you know."
Sir Testicles: "I don't care! F&%$ You!"
Me: "Obviously."

Sir Testicles then sped away on his mission to, I presume, spend money on things my fellow marketers told him to buy, eat greasy food, and to top it all off with that all important Butter Caramel Hot Smoothee from the Tim Horton's drive-through. I drove off in another direction, found a place to park and called the police to report his driving.

Now, you might think I'm a taddle-tail, or whatnot. But, I gave him a chance to redeem himself. You see, there's no way around how many laws he broke. But I try to be an objective man. When I pulled up beside him, I wasn't yelling and swearing. I just wanted an explanation for his actions, as someone he could have just as well endangered. If he had said "We were just called and told our kid broke her arm in hockey practice" then I'd somewhat understand, and wouldn't call the police. I'd probably still be a little shocked and frustrated because what would he tell the parents of the kid he mowed down who was just going across the street to toboggan by the playground? Or the family going out for brunch making a left turn into their lane only to come head to head with this guy? But instead, he was all "Me Tough! *swear* *swear* *swear* You Stupid! *swear* *swear* *swear* Me allowed to break the law because I'm a man! *swear* *swear* *swear*"

He failed the justifiability test. I don't regret a thing.

Analysis:

So, is road rage caused by driving? I can see how this guy might get a little frustrated being at the back of the line, even if it was only going to be for three blocks. But he decided to let his frustration take over rational thought (in Air-Crew survival instructor school this is nicknamed "lizard brain": in a survival situation your body is malnourished and under immense stress, so your brain functions start to deteriorate. The longer you go without food and water, the worse it gets and you begin to operate on a basic and primitive level, like a lizard. But you have no choice in the matter when it's a survival situation and you have no food and water. This guy is not in a survival situation, so why is he thinking so irrationally?). No, it is not caused by driving.

Is it from a predisposition to be aggressive? Well, your personality is made up of both genetics and learning's from the various environments you've experienced in your life so far. So, you aren't born a criminal, you learn to become one. It might be a little easier to become one if your genetics dictate an over-active brain function that controls aggression, for example. But it doesn't make you a robot unable to choose for yourself.

Then is it from aggression enhancers? I think this is most plausible. But where do you draw the line? Is he a victim of these enhancers? I don't think so. He chooses to eat greasy food, for example. He chooses to have a highly leveraged lifestyle trying to buy all the best toys, for example. There's a lot of research out there about these kinds of things - and they are main topics in the news all the time. If you were truly concerned about managing yourself (ie. your aggression), about being responsible to yourself, your family & friends, and to society in general, you'd look into this research. Failing to look into ways to improve your life doesn't make you a victim. It makes you negligent.

Negligence is very rarely an excuse for your actions, or lack thereof. That's why, for instance, they fine tourists in Singapore for spitting on the street. That's why, for instance, you as a home owner can be sued when someone wipes out on the ice on your sidewalk that wasn't there this morning.

Sir Testicles broke a dozen laws by his own choosing, which was probably provoked by mismanaged stress. That's no excuse. I have no pity for him.